Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Cosmolological and Moral Self

In "Anna Kareninna" Levin describes how I see myself cosmologically, "In infinite time, infinite matter, infinite space, is formed a bubble-organism, and that bubble lasts a while and bursts, and that bubble is Me." That describes my view except I will add that my bubble is part of the vast lattice-work of the "Totality",and when my bubble bursts it effects the whole lattice-work.
My bubble is guided in its course through "life" by the moral compass that guides Levin, "an infallible judge in his soul, determining which of two (or more in my case) courses of action was the better and which was the worse, and as soon as he did not act rightly, he was at once aware of it." If I live according to this moral compass, I feel pretty good most of the time. If I don't I feel the knife of my conscience piercing my heart, and I feel quite miserable. I find alcohol dissolves the judge, and that I can not hear what he is saying if I drink. As soon as alcohol evaporates from my judge's robes the judge reasserts his powers. If I have done something under the influence against his better judgement, I will feel powerful remorse. There are people that I observe who are never in touch with "The Judge". My second observation is that if this is the case, these individuals are capable of most any behavior regardless how heinous. If their behavior becomes very heinous, their demeanor is proportionately hateful.